ADHD in the Menopause Part 1

In today’s episode I am joined by two ladies that both have ADHD.  One diagnosed pre menopause and the other during.  If you don’t already know, ADHD is becoming more recognised with women during the menopause.  This is due to the change of hormonal balance which as been masking their symptoms for many years.  Today you will hear all about Julia and Nicky’s journeys and how they manage not only ADHD but Fibromyalgia and of course their menopause thrown on top of that too!

Come back for Part 2 where lots of information on how you can cope with ADHD, whether through medication, nutrition or alternative therapies.  It wouldn’t be Menopause Dinners without the food, a lovely recipe with lots of benefits!

 Please get in touch if you would like to be on the podcast, either as a guest or in the audience.  There is absolutely no experience needed, no professional talking, I am looking for the average female who is going through their menopause and would like to talk openly about it.  If this sounds like you or you would like to be around other women to feel supported, then please get in touch through any of the details below.  This can be online, in person or at IG6 3HD
 
 Email - ⁠⁠menopausedinners@gmail.com⁠⁠
 
 Website: https://www.menopausedinners.co.uk
 
 Instagram & TikTok @Menopause_dinners
 
 Facebook / You Tube - Menopause Dinners
 
 Sponsored by: Fitness Therapy 4 you: ⁠⁠https://www.fitnesstherapy4you.co.uk⁠⁠

Transcript

SPEAKER_04 0:15

Welcome to Metables Dennis. My name is Sarah, and I'm your host. Not only is it me, but I have some incredible guests with me today. You can expect more stories, laughter, a few tears, and some facts to help you feel not alone in this shit storm called Memaballs. So sit time and let's ride this storm together. Welcome to Memables Dennis. Not so long to go now, but I've got an incredible episode for you today. Now there's a lot of this uh in the news and it's all over socials at the moment, but we are going to tackle ADHD and the menopause. That's right, we're gonna be talking lots on that today. I have got some guests with me. I'm gonna be introducing them to you a little bit later. Um, but before we do that, I just want to explain to you, if you're not sure, what ADHD actually means. So this is from the NHS website, okay? So ADHD, attention deficit, hyperactivity disorder. It's a condition where the brain works differently to most people. So if you have ADHD, you may have trouble with things like concentrating and sitting still, amongst other things. However, did you know that in the menopause, some women start to realise that there is something other than the menopause going on and they get diagnosed with ADHD? It is a common thing, and most of the time it's because the ADHD is actually there, but it's just been heightened from the menopause, and that's one of the things we're gonna be talking about today with our guests, um, because eachogene will play a massive part in that, and um we want to know a bit more about it. So, what is coming up today? Well, in part one, I'm gonna be talking to the two lovely ladies who have both got ADHD, so we're gonna be discussing their journeys, um, and you will recognise them because they've both been here before, and they were here on the Fiverr Myology episode. So I'm gonna ask them to unmute and welcome both Julia and Nikki. Hello Placky both. Hi ladies, how are we doing? Yeah, good. We're all excited, raring to go. Yes, and I think a lot of ladies are really gonna look forward to this today, but I think this is gonna be a good subject for lots of people. All right, so as we know, menopause dinners is two things. It's not only about talking about menopause and the dinners, actually, that's three. There's always a quiz, and we love a quiz. So today's quiz is symptoms of ADHD. And this is the bit where I'm gonna keep quiet, and the ladies are going to tell me what they've what their symptoms are or what they know.

SPEAKER_01 3:32

Are you ready?

SPEAKER_00 3:34

20 seconds start now. Go. Direct yeah, direct nuts, hyper focus. Masking 10 seconds remaining.

SPEAKER_02 3:46

Manning fair now. Five. Yep. Interrupting creation, sensitivity.

SPEAKER_00 4:00

I'll just let you go on there. There is a list.

SPEAKER_04 4:04

There is a list. Oh my god, there's quite a lot, quite a lot on there. I mean, I've got a list. Well, so we've got to go through that list again because I've got on here, so being easily distracted or forgetful, finding it hard to organise your time, um, hard to follow instructions or finish tasks, losing things like wallet, mobiles, or keys. And let's face it, as we said, you know, well, as I mentioned earlier about menopause, that can just be menopause, really. I'm always losing my keys. And uh hyperactivity, kind of like lots of energy, feeling restless, talkative, or interrupting conversations, love that one, and making quick decisions without thinking what might happen. What do you think on that last one?

SPEAKER_00 4:50

Do you think that's uh about decision making?

SPEAKER_04 4:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:56

Impulsivity, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 4:58

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00 4:59

So it's more sort of sometimes I need a lot of time and information and research to make a particular decision. Other times I don't need virtually any information at all, and just say, yeah, I'm in, or um, yeah, that's fine, or yep, let's do it, you know, and there's no there's no need for that extra information because I I feel so confident in what I'm thinking. For example, I was living in Swansea, and um I needed to buy a house elsewhere, and I actually, well, my daughter, my daughter FaceTimed me because I was unwell, so I couldn't view the house. So my daughter was 16 at the time, went with two friends to view a house. She was like that with FaceTime, and by the end of it, I said, Do you like it? She goes, Yeah. I said, Yeah, we'll have it. And that's that was do you know what I mean? So that we bought the house based on a FaceTime, and it it was the right decision at the time.

SPEAKER_04 6:11

That's mad. I mean, we're gonna talk about symptoms in a second because there's quite a lot to explore there, I think. Yeah, okay, I've got a few questions on that, but I'm gonna sit tight. Um, let's talk about diagnosis first of all. Um, Nikki, can you tell everyone when you got diagnosed with ADHD and what the process was for you, if that's okay?

SPEAKER_02 6:37

Yeah, um so I got diagnosed nearly two years ago. Um and I was on the waiting list for over two years for the diagnosis.

SPEAKER_04 6:53

Wow, okay, so can we just tell everyone where you are in your menopause?

SPEAKER_02 7:00

So ten years ago I had a hysterectomy due to endometriosis. Um and it's only been the last couple of years that I've noticed since the menopause, my ADHD has got worse.

SPEAKER_04 7:23

So, do you think before uh the menopause, do you think that you were showing any signs of ADHD, or do you think that it it was like what I said in the beginning where it it started to unravel?

SPEAKER_02 7:40

It definitely started to unravel. Um I always knew it was different. Um used to get a lot of people who used to laugh with me, not at me. I've got used to say that all the time. Um, but I think joining the NHS over 10 years ago, I had a friend who would say, right, Nick, I'm just gonna let you know this is what you do, you do this, you do that. But being in that kind of job, I I wasn't aware that I was doing these things. So that made me more aware, and that was probably one of the reasons why I got my diagnosis. Right.

SPEAKER_04 8:26

And it was two year, it took two years to to get a fully diagnosed. So what did you um no?

SPEAKER_02 8:33

So it was a two-year wait, and then it was the diagnosis I would say was over about four months.

SPEAKER_04 8:42

So why do you have to wait two years? I mean, what was the rate? Is it NHS or NHS?

SPEAKER_02 8:48

I know that there is something called the right to choose, which is ending soon, and you fill out the form, you find your the person that like the company wherever it is in your area, you drop it off to the doctors, um, they sign it, and then it's a less waste on the right to choose, but it is ending like soon apparently.

SPEAKER_04 9:17

Alright. Okay, so and then what what was part of the diagnosis? Uh, what do they get you to do? What kind of things?

SPEAKER_02 9:26

Um, so I had to talk about my earliest memory, what I was like in school, what it was like growing up, um throughout school, interactions with other people, and then up into adult life. So it was quite um, what is the word? I think it was quite difficult to sort of go back into the past and talk about all that kind of stuff.

SPEAKER_04 9:58

Right.

SPEAKER_02 10:00

So all of that, uh any kind of written tests, um so over the time that we were chatting, which was a couple of months, he was writing notes and he's asked like certain questions and sort of just put two and two together, sort of building a picture. Um, I took a friend in who I think when you've got ADHD, you're not aware of the things that you do and you say that are different to other people. It's only when somebody else points it out. So I took my friend who would say, Well, Nikki, this is you do this and you do that. Because unless somebody points it out, you just think it's normal.

SPEAKER_04 10:45

Can you give us an example of of something?

SPEAKER_02 10:49

Um, so I would say fidgeting is terrible, like my hands are constantly like that, I can't sit still. Um interrupting conversations is probably one of my big ones. So you would have like a manager that was having a conversation with probably the big boss, and I just go over to them and just sort of butt in the conversation and then tell them what I need to say. It's like you've got no no you're gonna do that today.

SPEAKER_04 11:26

But yeah, it's alright. It's alright if you do it today, it's it's perfectly fine if you do it today because it's uh wow, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:35

But I'm learning to stop it. Also, a massive one is rejection sensitivity. So I've been researching about the ADHD, and I am very, very defensive, and I've been told it by other people. And say, for example, you get called to the manager's office, you could be going in to talk about your off-duty or your rotor, and I'm like, I'm trying I'm in trouble. And I think sort of um you think that you're gonna get into trouble because you're going into the manager's office, and I'm gonna get dead defensive, and it's I don't know, it's supposed to be like a coping mechanism or something. Wow.

SPEAKER_04 12:20

Um so no uh you're you'll understand this in a minute after we've spoken to Julia, but no ECG done. Nope. No.

SPEAKER_02 12:31

They do they try and see, so they also think I'm autistic as well. Um so I'm I've been waiting over two years now for my autism test. They did wonder whether it was bipolar. Um but they they said that I wasn't. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 12:57

I'm just gonna say, uh, my sister's been told after she's been waiting to see someone, she's got to have an echo, echo done.

SPEAKER_00 13:06

And uh I ask why why they'd want an echo done.

SPEAKER_04 13:11

Well, I know, an echo and an ECG to to deal. No.

SPEAKER_00 13:18

Yeah, so the only the only reason they might want to do that maybe is if you were gonna go down the medication route and see what you start in ECG is like, because it can affect a certain interval in ECG. Morphology, etc., which can provoke arrhythmias.

SPEAKER_04 13:40

Yeah, because she's been struggling to get a diagnosis. She had not she had one for about two, like yourself for about a few years, and then and now they're kind of saying no, you've got to have it redone again because it was so long ago. Uh Julia, what about your diagnosis? Similar or earlier than the menopause?

SPEAKER_00 14:00

No. Um, so my daughter um went through you know a bit of a tricky time during her teen teenage years and was sort of looking to get diagnosed or go through a diagnosis um pathway anyway. Um NHS, um, I know Nikki, what Nikki said now was about two years, it was even longer here in Wales. Um, and I think she was on the list for over three years, three years plus. Anyway, um we had a big um big traumatic event in 2022. We had a house fire, um, and things just came to a standstill really in mine and hers life. Um and I took some time off work and my daughter got diagnosed privately and following that conversation with the person who diagnosed her, because like Nikki said, we gotta talk about your family and all this kind of thing. He said, Oh, I think it might be worth your mum, you know, going for screening as well. And she she she was the one blaster to come back and say this to me. Um, and I was like, What? You know, really, and then we are very close anyway, and sort of through conversation and through her diagnosis, and then us sort of processing that together, and I think it was everything just came together in one big thing that year, and it was like right, okay, maybe I need to because I was I was struggling, but I didn't know why I was struggling so much. Um, so I went for the screening, it came back that I've got mixed ADHD with autistic traits. Um, and again, that I spent a lot of time processing that. I was also trying to get some because I wasn't on HRT at the time, so how old was I then? About 52. Um, so there's a lot lots of things going on with me, you know, um mentally and physically, where it just didn't feel right, lots of things didn't weren't just weren't right. Um and following the the diagnosis and reading about it and going to my GP and talking to them about the menopause and all the rest of it, I eventually um got referred to the menopause clinic. Um so I didn't I didn't go on um ADHD meds, I went on HRT. Um so yeah, that's that was my okay.

SPEAKER_04 17:11

So because of the trauma that happened, so you could potentially have had well, say have had, you know, ADHD for quite some time and just it been there and and not Yeah, so I think the the thing I've learned, and this is per person, obviously, is that everyone how it displays, how it presents itself, how it evolves, and how it continues changes throughout your lifetime.

SPEAKER_00 17:45

So um when I was younger, um my sort of personality then um I would say, and with my daughter we've talked loads about it, was seemed to be more ADHD. Whereas now it seems to be more autistic.

SPEAKER_04 18:09

Right, okay. And just to I I can't remember if I can't remember we've all got brain fog. Uh if I said it in the beginning that both uh Nikki and Julia have fibromyalgia, which is why I said they were on the fibromyalgia episode. So so here's uh and so I'd want to kind of talk about the symptoms a little bit, what what you two have have been expressing because there was something that I kind of picked up on, and I want to know your your symptoms, but I also want to know that you know it sounds like everyone's got very, very personal symptoms with ADHD from what you just said, Julia. So it's not a classic case of tick tick tick tick tick.

SPEAKER_00 18:53

No, and also sorry no no no I'm doing the thing is, right, is that I am an interrupter as well. That's okay. So am I. Nikki join in, interrupt, come on. I'm doogling, I'm doogling to not for me not to interrupt you.

SPEAKER_04 19:11

It's alright, don't worry. It's but sometimes interruption is good because there's you've got a point a valid point, and that's why we have mute buttons on Zoom. So, Nikki, tell us about your your symptoms. Um have they changed? You know, what can you recognise as ADHD?

SPEAKER_02 19:33

Yeah, I would say the last couple of years um burnout is a massive one. I think being I'm busy all the time, I fill my day with stuff, even when I'm in work, I take on too many jobs, and then after a couple of months, I would say I get like really burnt out where I can't do anything else. Um other symptoms I would say, or other things that I do is start a conversation. Like everyone always says that only he's a storyteller. So I'll start a conversation, but then that conversation branches off because I feel like I need to explain, and then the whole conversation ends up branching off into like 10 different stories, and then eventually I end up back at the beginning of the story of us telling in the first place.

SPEAKER_04 20:38

I I have stories like that when people talk to me like that. I say it's like someone getting on a bus, going to London, getting lost, fucking up at Birmingham, going to Birmingham, and then eventually they come back. Eventually they come back. Yeah, is that yeah, is that is that uh fair enough comment?

SPEAKER_00 21:02

Yeah, 100%.

SPEAKER_02 21:05

I forget what I'm talking about, and I have to ask the person who I'm talking to to remind me and put me back on track. Oh god.

SPEAKER_00 21:15

My my daughter is uh a very big going round the houses, and so sometimes I'll say to her, yeah, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yeah, like this letter. Because you know, because of the detail and the minutiae in in the in the conversation, and it's so precise, she's so de I mean, it's hilarious. And we have these like ping pong conversations going back and forth, but but I can't interrupt her, and I can't minimize the story because it has to be that story with all the detail in it.

SPEAKER_04 21:55

It's funny, isn't it? There's no way of minimizing it. She's basically not got on a bus, she's got on a on a plane. She's gone on like a world cruise. World cruise, yeah, stopping off every destination. Yeah, yeah. Um, any other kind of symptoms, Nick?

SPEAKER_02 22:15

Um, I have no filter whatsoever. So when you're in, like say, a group setting or when you're in work, everybody else always has that thought, ooh, and then they don't say it because it's so inappropriate or it's naughty or it's not the right thing to say. Do you say it? Yeah, but then I always end up saying it, and everybody laughs. Some people are quite shocked who don't know me, but I'm only saying what everyone's thinking but wouldn't say, but I don't have that thing that filters to stop me from saying it. I mean, a couple of years ago I was googling Tourette's of the mouth because I felt like I had Tourette's because I couldn't control what was coming out of my mouth. You kind of got yeah, diverbal diarrhea. That's what I was obsessed as well, because I don't like upsetting people, and I I can't help it, it just comes out. I mean, I am trying I do try now to Is it like a a compulsion to say it? Yes, like it's like that thing where you don't say it, don't say it, and it just comes out. Well, most people do find it funny, but I can offend people as well. Fair enough. Fair enough.

SPEAKER_00 23:45

Do you think, Nikki, as well, it's because it's the truth?

SPEAKER_02 23:50

Yeah, it is the truth.

SPEAKER_00 23:53

Because I think people with ADHD have got a really strong sense of justice. Yes. And it's the truth. And why wouldn't you not say the truth? It's the truth. So why is everyone playing this game? It it's that I think I don't know about you, Nikki, but I can't stand playing games like you know, oh, you mustn't say this and you mustn't say that, and you know, oh, we have to be a certain way. It it's that thing of well, no, everyone's thinking about why why isn't anyone saying it then? Do you think it's a bit of that as well?

SPEAKER_02 24:26

It is, but when you're in work and you have to be a certain way, sometimes it's hard. But my patients used to love me for it. I mean, how does that have and that like first thing in the morning? I'm a hundred miles an hour. People are just sort of opening their eyes in work and just sort of getting like having a cup of coffee and whatever. I'd still have my coffee, but I was like, oh, just like yeah, this type of person.

SPEAKER_04 25:00

I'd like you to be my nurse, Nikki. I think you'd make me laugh.

SPEAKER_02 25:03

No, nurse Nikki, I'll laugh.

SPEAKER_04 25:05

No, I think you would. I'd I'd like you rather than some boring fart that's got a sticker thermometer up your backside and got like a face like a slapped ass. Um Julia, Julia, what's what about your symptoms? Anything um similar, different?

SPEAKER_00 25:22

Yes, yeah. So the thing is as well, the ADHD presents so differently in females to and this has only been recognized really fairly recently. So a typical sort of ADHD diagnostic criteria was based on young boys.

SPEAKER_03 25:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:42

So it's like, you know, so the typical sort of um image then is a little boy or whatever, hyperactive, run around all the time bouncing off the walls. But with females, a lot of it is internal, so it's a lot of um rumination um and replaying, just constant replaying of conversations, of things that have happened, of past memories, of just all sorts of things, and it's just on a constant loop. So I've got constant images coming into my head 24-7. So it's like a layering effect, is it's quite weird, I think, if I try to explain it. I see it each memory almost like a sheet of like rice paper, so it would like memory, memory, memory, and it just comes layering up all the time, and it could be anything from um song lyrics to where I went 25 years ago to um something that happened last week to whatever, but it's this constant um sort of mental imagery that I can't really stop.

SPEAKER_04 27:04

Wow. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 27:06

And I don't know if I've ever said that out loud before.

SPEAKER_02 27:11

It makes sense because you put it into like a perspective which I've never really thought of, but when you're saying it, I can relate to it. Oh, really? Your brain, it's like constantly getting quiet.

SPEAKER_00 27:28

It's never so um, it's never, I don't think, completely quiet. So I I I was trying to learn to crochet last night. Oh and um during that time, because I was so focused on it, I think it actually stopped during that time. But as soon as it stopped, and I went back to you know, going back home and driving home and whatever, boom, it starts again, and I think I'm so used to it now. Um, but it's a very odd thing to explain.

SPEAKER_04 28:06

Well, so it's more like a lot of overthinking.

SPEAKER_00 28:10

Oh, it's more, it's not even overthink so overthinking to me is something different. Okay, all right. So it's like having this constant mental image catalogue. You know, when you see people flicking through pages, yeah, and it's like it's a bit like that, but it but each one will last maybe a second or two seconds. That's really intense. Yeah, that's really it's a constant, like almost like a kaleidoscope, then of just images, images or all these things. Um, and that's not including rumination. So rumination is it w uh I got fixated on one particular thing for years, and again, I didn't tell anyone about it because I didn't know what it was. Um, so one particular image, one particular experience, and it just went on and on and and because there's no conclusion, you go back to the beginning, and it goes on and on and on and on and on. So a lot of ADHD for women is psychological. So you may present sort of for want of a better word, quite normal.

SPEAKER_04 29:33

Um and I think by by you both talking about it, I mean there's no way that a doctor can tell you that.

SPEAKER_00 29:45

Or they can't, they they wouldn't be able to visually see that. They wouldn't know because you might come across as quite articulate, quite well spoken, you know.

SPEAKER_04 29:56

Um but I think that's brilliant. Sorry, to kind of say that because if someone is listening, that's maybe thinking, Oh, I might I think I might have ADHD. This could be quite one for them because Nikki was agreeing with you, and yeah, and I and I understand it a little bit, but I don't understand it a lot. So it's it's it's good to kind of really put it into that context. Um so yeah, any any other things at all that you so um I can so Nikki says she's constantly on the go.

SPEAKER_00 30:32

Um I'm not, I'll be honest with you. I used to be much more because I've got more physical limitations now, um I I am able to sort of sit and rest and draw and watch TV and all these sort of things. But um I've got what they call cricket feet. I don't know if you've heard of that.

SPEAKER_02 30:53

Oh, you do I do that. I do that. I I constantly have when you're sitting. Yeah, yeah, you put your feet together and they rub like that.

SPEAKER_00 31:05

They rub together. So so I've I've I always wear socks and crocs in the house. There I don't wear slippers, I wear crocs. So I've I and I do it once I've been doing it the whole time we've been speaking. And I didn't really Can you show us, please? Can you put your oh really? Hang on, let me see if I can do it.

SPEAKER_04 31:30

So my god, this is I never knew this. This is amazing.

SPEAKER_00 31:35

You've got your feet. You do so. I'm just doing this sort of thing all the time, and then I'll push the crock off and I'll twiddle it around. But if I haven't got my crocs on, um, then I'll just be doing it with my socks, and then I'll push the sock up and over the foot and all this kind of sort of is that like fe fidgety stuff, would you say? Yeah, they call it cricket feet. It's uh and I didn't again, that's something I learned recently. Stimming, isn't it? It it is a form of stimming. Yeah, again, I didn't know that. So in bed, I do it in bed. Um it's just you can hear another it's another X-rated one coming up.

SPEAKER_04 32:25

X-rated uh podcast. You've got to be over 21 for that one.

SPEAKER_00 32:30

And I again I didn't realise it was the thing, and I can remember um an ex-partner sort of saying, Will you stop doing that? And I was just like, and I was like, I don't even know what you're on about. You think you can stop rubbing your feet all the time. I was just like, am I doing that? Or I I um I'm a tapper as well, so I'll tapped. Like that. So when my dog's next to me, poor dog, I'm constantly smoothing and tapping and rubbing and you know And must love it.

SPEAKER_04 33:04

Your dog's most probably the most happiest dog in the world.

SPEAKER_00 33:08

Um but it's it's it's very um it's very uh particular, the things and of course if someone like you're saying, Nikki, if someone's observing you It makes it worse. It's like oh right, I can't, you know, and that thing with my hands. So I've been I've been writing and drawing the whole time that we've been speaking. Um and it's that thing with my hands. So, you know, great nail bite previous nail biter and picker. And um, if my hands are busy, then I can't do it.

SPEAKER_04 33:47

I've I've got to say something. There's a few things that you two have mentioned that I actually do. And no, serious, I'm being deadly serious because when you were talking in the beginning about having to know each detail, oh yeah. Okay, so a few years ago I I was trying to learn to swim, and it it didn't go very well, but what actually happened was he was trying to trying to get me on my back, and I said to him I'd like to learn on my back. So you're looking at someone that's petrified of water, okay? Okay, and he tried to do it, and I freaked out, and that night I come home, I went on YouTube because I needed to know how the mechanical function of my body would be underneath underneath the water, what I'm meant to be doing, and I went back the next day and I did it, it didn't last, it didn't last long. That's another story, but it took me to that straight away, and I thought, I've you know, I and I did it again with something else, and I said if he wanted me to jump in, and this happened a few years back. Someone, uh, a different instructor said, jump in. I said, What happens when I jump in? What will happen to my body when I jump in? And they're like, Well, you'll come up. I said, Okay, well, I come straight up, you know.

SPEAKER_00 35:09

I asked him so many questions, and there's yeah, other things that you said, and I'm like, Yeah, it's like it's like what it's it's knowing, it's knowing the why and the how and the what. So um, so ex uh talking about this crocheting again from last night, um, and my friend, she's so patient, she's so so patient. And once I got the visual aspect, you know, I've been there a good hour or so doing this this one sort of stitch done, and it was like, and then we turn it around because we're creating a square, and it was like, oh right, okay. So once I got the visual aspect, and I am a very visual person.

SPEAKER_04 35:57

You got it, you got it.

SPEAKER_00 35:58

I got it. I I I understood the principle of what we were doing, and it's it's that thing of understanding the principle of something, and until you get the principle of it, it's not gonna happen.

SPEAKER_02 36:10

That is me. I find that if someone breaks so I had a friend that used to break things down into bite-sized chunks to explain because simple things weren't understandable for me, yeah. So they break it down into bite-sized chunks for me to understand, and that was the way I used to get things. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:35

Bullet points. Yes. Bullet points. So when I went back to work, um having had the diagnosis, and this gone back four years ago, I I sort of told my manager, my support manager, and everything. And uh they were very good actually, because they knew then that these sort of really long, blurby going round the houses kind of emails used to drive me mad, and I just I'd switch off from it. Yeah, I'd totally not I couldn't get engaged with it at all. Give me a bullet point.

SPEAKER_04 37:11

Give me a bullet point, you say that someone. If you talk to have a conversation with someone, can you bullet point it? If you could see my notes, they're bullet points. Um ladies, can can I ask you uh medication-wise, uh Nikki, are you on medication for your ADHD? Yes, I am on Elvanse. Okay, when did you start that and has it helped you?

SPEAKER_02 37:37

Um so I was on it for about eight, nine, ten months. Then it came off it because I was losing weight and I thought it was the medication, but it turns out it wasn't the medication, so I went back on it. Um yes, it calms your brain down, but I think you would you're still a bit juicery on it. Um, but what I find is you have a massive crash in the afternoon, so it's like a come down off the medication.

SPEAKER_04 38:14

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_02 38:15

But I also found that I was in a lot more pain while I'm on the medication because of the fibromyalgia. Yeah. But I found out the other week because I was researching that ADHD medication can also increase your pain.

SPEAKER_04 38:37

Oh interesting. Okay, so where does that where does that leave you now?

SPEAKER_02 38:44

What are you are you still gonna carry on taking it or um I'm um and around because sometimes I think to myself, I've been like this all my life, and maybe I should just be myself without the medication because at the end of the day, the medication is only masking your personality because it makes you a lot more quieter than what you would be normally, it sort of s suppresses everything, but then when it wears off you're exhausted.

SPEAKER_04 39:29

Well that's that's no good. Because if you're only getting a snippet of a window throughout your day where you're calm, um and then you're not, then it's uh it's not really you want something that's gonna keep you stable all day long, really.

SPEAKER_02 39:47

It's the medication is sort of amphetamines, isn't it? So they say with the ADHD that for example stimulants like coffee um have a calming effect on people with ADHD. Um they mention about like recreational drugs and stuff like that have an opposite effect on your brain than what it would do on a normal person. Um yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 40:28

It's alright. Julia, what about yourself? Are you on any medication?

SPEAKER_00 40:33

No, um because uh again, when I was when I was diagnosed, I felt I was at the crossroads with everything, you know, fibromyalgia, menopause, ADHD and everything. So I decided out of everything, I thought um HRT would probably be the most appropriate sort of route for me. So that's once I'd gone to the menopause clinic and everything, um, I went on HRT, and I think that uh stabilized me um more.

SPEAKER_04 41:12

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:14

Um so I haven't I haven't taken it. Um I wanted to learn about it. I wanted to learn about menopause and fibro and uh and ADHD and everything. And so my lifestyle now is completely different t to previously.

SPEAKER_04 41:37

Um which you are gonna share.

SPEAKER_00 41:40

Which I'm not gonna say anything about.

SPEAKER_04 41:42

We want people to come back, yeah. Keep it quiet.

SPEAKER_00 41:45

But yeah, so med medication-wise, no, I'm not on any. Um and I'm sort of self-managing then.

SPEAKER_04 41:54

Okay. So as uh Julia mentioned, the M word, uh, I just want to talk about um each gym, okay, because what it does, it supports dopamine, which is attention, motivation, execution, function, serotonin, mood, emotional regulation, which is also from um progesterone as well, brain fog, sorry ladies. Um now this is a funny one to pronounce ACline. See if I've said that right. There we are. Thank you very much. Memory and learning. So when estrogen drops, obviously less dopamine, which is why a lot of women, when they hit their peri and estrogen starts to decline, then that's when they start getting these uh symptoms rising. So brain fog, for forgetfulness, oh that's a big one, forgetfulness, losing words, poor focus, irritability, emotional overwhelm, sleep disruption. Uh quite a lot on there that look like a bit of fibro, uh menopause and ADHD. So how the hell? I mean, I know the last time we spoke, Julia, about fibromyalgia, you said you're just you just try not to think about that, you just think of your body as a whole, because if you've got three elements going on in in your body, which which you ladies have, that's that's a bit of a I was gonna say my Um That's hard. How the hell do you two kind of because the symptoms are all together, aren't they? So it's kind of hard to separate a little bit, maybe. Release to it.

SPEAKER_00 43:41

Yeah. I think I think over time so when you say uh so when when I was uh there were symptoms, there's been symptoms symptoms there all along, but not knowing that they were symptoms, you saw they're part of your personality and and and who you are.

SPEAKER_03 43:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 43:59

Um And the oestrogen. So my teenagers, you know, I was a bit of a loony tune to be honest. And uh, you know, it the the my teenage years, it was just like lighter fuel going off in my life all the time. Um and I think that element of the increased each oestrogen, and then obviously later going through peri and then menopause, it was that sort of inflammatory sort of response in myself that you realize shit, you know, that wasn't that that was a response to hormones as opposed to, you know, is that truly me? Was that a response to the the change in your hormones in your body? And you know, when you can reflect back, you can think, oh blamey, you know, did I really do those things and did that really happen?

SPEAKER_04 45:02

And it's a lot of second guessing, isn't it, with this?

SPEAKER_00 45:07

Yeah, it's but I think if I think like I've spoken to you before, Sarah, about the sort of Venn, I know I always go back to the Venn diagram. And so I think people with fibromyalgia, if you look at anyone who's neurodiverse, a lot of people who are neurodiverse also have comorbidities of um fibromyalgia, POTS, Erlodan Law syndrome, and all these other things. So it's and that's that is something that needs looking at as well. So you've so it's it it's a s it's a spectrum of neurodiverse um conditions with an with a spectrum of comorbidities.

SPEAKER_04 46:00

That's quite a big word.

SPEAKER_00 46:03

I know, I'm hoping I've said it right.

SPEAKER_04 46:05

Can you can you explain that words? Because I've never heard that word before.

SPEAKER_00 46:08

So it's basically a a condition that you wouldn't think could be linked to another condition.

SPEAKER_04 46:16

Right, okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 46:17

So it's like ADHD and fibromarts. So it I've met a lot of neurodivice neurodiverse people, people who are neurodiverse that also have uh chronic illness of some sort.

SPEAKER_04 46:32

It's quite and and there's other things as well, right?

SPEAKER_00 46:35

Autoimmune um deficiencies and all sorts of things. So and like pot syndrome, so you've got and then it's uh connective tissue disorders and all all these all these things. So it's not oh you've got ADHD. It's you've got ADHD, but you must may also have dyspraxia, elements of OCD, um, and all all these other things, as well as Yeah, it's very common.

SPEAKER_04 47:07

Very common. I see a lot of women in clinic when they come in, and it's quite funny actually, because they'll say one thing, um, and then I'll be so for instance, I'll say, um, I've got hyper I've got hypermobility and uh yeah, typical hypermobility. Yeah, and I'll be like, fine, fine. And then um, and then I don't know, there's something about them, and I'll say, Are you dyslexic? They'll be like, you're like, yeah. I said, Do you think you might have dyspraxia? Yeah, they're like, What's that? And I'm like, Okay, go and check it out because I think this sounds like you. Um could be wrong, but just go and check it out. And then again with someone else that comes in and having symptoms, so I completely get what you're saying. It's like a it's like a knock-on effect, it's like there's something, these everyone that has I wouldn't say it's quite a knock-on effect. No, that's the wrong word. But it coexists, yeah, it coexists with other things. So if you've got one thing, there's more than likely that there is something else that you're not seeing, under lighting. Uh no, yeah, that's that's better to say. And it's just I just find it fascinating that you know it's all linked. Uh, my sister um had fibromyalgia in as a teen. Um, so you know, she had that, and yes, so the ADHD, I mean, she's she she won't mind me saying this, she's definitely got it.

SPEAKER_00 48:32

She's definitely got it. And the thing is, once you've been diagnosed, you end up diagnosing everyone else. Yeah, really. You can and the thing, the other thing is as well, you can spot someone who's who's neurodiverse. I can't even remember what the question was.

SPEAKER_04 48:48

I think it was about the three together, wasn't it? About how you cope and stuff. Men are post-fibral and men are um would you what do you think? Me? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 49:01

Oh, what do I think about what? I'm gonna leave.

SPEAKER_04 49:06

I'm not editing that out. That is pure gold. I'm keeping that in that is staying in.

SPEAKER_02 49:16

I'm trying to think of things, and then they disappear, and then I've come back and I don't know where we're up to.

SPEAKER_04 49:22

That's alright. Don't worry about it. Um, I think you did mention anyway that it's all together and your ADHD, your fibro, and your menopause. Are you like Julia and the fact that you just look at it as one rather than individuals?

SPEAKER_02 49:37

It's just bumps in the road, isn't it? And just parts of you. You sort of just get on with it because you that's what your life is. Well, I think what you learn is you learn to live with it and you learn to sort of mask those little things and try and do other things instead. I don't know. Do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_04 50:03

Yeah, yeah. I know what I mean. Well, you if if you know what you mean, then that's that's all that matters. And if you've got a coach or a plane and you're cruising or you're going around the Mediterranean. Um, ladies, I'm gonna wrap up with part one now. I just want to say thank you very much. Before um thank you properly, I just want to say to everyone that part two, where the ladies are coming back, we're gonna be talking about what they've tried, health-wise, lifestyle, supplementation, CBT, um, all that kind of stuff, and some other things thrown in there too. And there is another quiz. Did I tell you there's another quiz? Yay! Another quiz, it's a good one, you'll be fine. Um, so I would really, really like to thank uh both these wonderful ladies. Thank you very much, Nikki. Welcome! Hi, thank you, Julia. You're welcome. So, Julia, if anyone would like to be a guest on Menopause Dinners, what do they need to do?

SPEAKER_00 51:09

Yeah, well, um, if anyone's going through anything um to do with the menopause, um, you don't need to be an expert in the field um and no experience or anything like that is necessary, just get in touch with uh Menopause Dinners on any of the socials on Instagram, TikTok, um, or Facebook. And also, um, if if failing that, you can get in touch as well by emailing menopausedinners at gmail.com.

SPEAKER_04 51:39

Lovely. Thank you very, very much. So, my dears, that was it. It's end of part one. It's been exhausting. We've gone round the houses a few times, but we've got there in the end. Don't forget to like, rate, or subscribe on any of the platforms you're listening. Did you know you can now send us a text function via the podcast or a voicemail? I mean, that's new. Let us know how we're doing. Every bit helps, any information. Um, so before you go, my final thought to you is that menopause sucks. But guess what, we've friends, it sucks a whole lot less. We will see you next time on Menopause Dinners. Any supplementational medication we've discussed is from our own experience. If you do have a medical condition, please seek professional advice before trying anything that we mentioned today.