ADHD in the Menopause Part 2

Part 2 of ADHD in the Menopause you will hear the same guests returning but on this episode, we discuss all things from meditation, supplementation, dietary advice to medication and other things that have helped like chess!

It wouldn’t be menopause dinners without the food and today’s recipe has ingredients that work well for ADHD, you can see in full via the you tube channel, link below!

Please get in touch if you would like to be on the podcast, either as a guest or in the audience.  There is absolutely no experience needed, no professional talking, I am looking for the average female who is going through their menopause and would like to talk openly about it.  If this sounds like you or you would like to be around other women to feel supported, then please get in touch through any of the details below.  This can be online, in person or at IG6 3HD
 
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 Sponsored by: Fitness Therapy 4 you: ⁠⁠https://www.fitnesstherapy4you.co.uk⁠⁠

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:15

Welcome to Menopause Dinners. My name is Sarah, and I'm your host. Not only is it me, but I have some incredible guests for me today. You can expect real stories, laughter, a few tears, and some facts to help you feel not alone in this shit storm called Menopause. So sit tight, let's ride the storm together. Welcome to Menopause Dinners. Really hope that you enjoyed everything that was mentioned in part one. So, what's happening in part two? Loads coming up. We're going to be talking about food, supplementation, lifestyle stuff, everything the ladies have tried for their ADHD symptoms. So, yeah, that is coming up. But before we go into another quiz and reintroduce the ladies, I just want to talk to you about menopause dinners because menopause dinners, part of that, is to do with food. And this week's recipe is a kidney beans sweet potato stew. Now I must say, I'm not too sure of the word stew, but it was the only thing that I could think of to put the whole thing together. I've been making this recipe for the last six months. I absolutely love it. It's really uh filling, it's got some lovely ingredients in there. So kidney beans, as you know, sweet potato, it's got aubergin in there, it's got cow, which is fantastic for you. Full of iron, full of nutrients, really good for the menopause. You can see that on the YouTube channel. You can watch me making it, and I would definitely recommend give it a go. I normally make it in batches, so you can make this like for three meals, but it's really really lovely. I like it anyway. So um, let's welcome the ladies back in. Here we have Nikki. Hi thought for a minute. We didn't have Nikki, but we have her and Julia. Hello, wonderful. Okay, so the quiz for today is um a little bit different from last time. We are going to be doing, where's my button? There we are. Um, what works well for ADHD? So this could be something that you've tried or something that you know works well. Are you ready? 20 seconds start now. Off you go.

SPEAKER_00 2:50

Reading, walking, meditation. 10 seconds remaining. Five. Playing chess. Three, uh, drawing on up. Two. Walk into friends. Time's up.

SPEAKER_03 3:13

Do you know what? Nikki has to get her cold dips in there, didn't you say? Yeah. And chess.

SPEAKER_02 3:21

Never knew about that. I used to be in the chess team in junior school. Wow. And about last year, I played chess with a friend. And the concentration levels that you need because you don't forget how to play. I was so focused. Wow. Um, it's I play it on my phone now. Okay. But the concentration that you need stops your brain from ticking because you've got to really think about what move, and if you move here, what that's gonna do, and it really works. Do you wouldn't think I'd be chess mod?

SPEAKER_03 4:00

I'm sorry. If you ever judge someone by the way that they look, you definitely don't look like a chess player, Nikki. I didn't have you down for that, but you know surprised you there. You have surprised me there. I know what to next. If I see you, I know what to get you, a chess set. Uh all right, so uh things that you can do to help yourself on the NHS website. This is what they say. Make time for physical activities. Exercise has many health benefits, uh, can be good focus for your energy, and it can also reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression, uh, which can make your ADH symptoms worse. Um, important to get lots of sleep, so having a regular bedtime and a quiet, dark bedroom can help. Try to avoid screen time, caffeine, sugar, and alcohol close to bedtime. Aim for a healthy, balanced diet and regular meal times, and also talk to your friends and family. Some of that stuff we've already mentioned, and CBT, which we will talk on a bit more later. So, there is a lot on food. I mean, I've got a lot of information in front of me now, but I think I'm just gonna put it out to you ladies. Have you tried any uh changes in your food? Have you read anything on food? Julia's like, yeah, of course Julia's Julia knows. Let's go to Julia, come on. She's got ADHD, of course she knows.

SPEAKER_00 5:29

It's my passion interest. Um, yeah, it's taken me it it's I'm still still in process of. Um, but um again, I don't know how Nicky was, but I just went through uh colossal sugar cravings and chocolate cravings, and um it just sort of almost out of control kind of feeling, sort of menopausal and perimenopause, um, which obviously aggravates inflammation and it's just um you know, just um gets worse. So um I've always enjoyed cooking and I've always loved fruit and veg and whatever anyway and things like that. So I've always sort of um cooked from scratch. Um so um I'm eating higher protein f uh meals now um and been a bit off it the past say two weeks. Um, but generally I have felt better eating a much lower and I love my carbs, absolutely adore carbs, but I think they were adding to the inflammation, I'll be honest with you. So um yeah, I'm on higher protein. Um uh I don't eat takeaways. Um I don't drink, I stopped drinking alcohol nearly four years ago. And I drink tea cast. I'm a bit boring really though.

SPEAKER_03 7:05

No, it's not boring. I mean, uh, you know, it's uh it is and if I had ADHD now, I would be telling you that's so boring.

SPEAKER_00 7:20

No, so it's making it making adjustments. So um I describe drinking alcohol for me it was like rocket fuel, lighter fuel, you know, it's just like boom, you know, um, and that so all the sort of characteristics I have with ADHD would just exacerbate them.

SPEAKER_03 7:42

Right, okay. Yeah, well they do say say that with um yeah with stuff. And um I I'm Chinese medicine acupuncturist as many as many other things that I do, but uh Chinese medicine we talk a lot about heat. Um these certain foods like chocolate um and some dark chocolate, I do have to say, because the darker the more heat you get to the head uh cigarette, it's going straight, sending the heat up. So if you think of someone that's schizophrenic, yeah, that means that it's gonna give them all of that cloudiness in their in their head. Oh wow.

SPEAKER_02 8:23

You know what I read um about a week or two ago that tobacco is used for pain. And what I read was you know, when you get the um nicotine patches, it said about cutting them into strips and putting it where, say, for example, on your wrists, on your hand, and tobacco is supposed to help with pain. Where'd you read that? That's really interesting.

SPEAKER_03 8:55

I don't know, but I I am full of useless information. No, but that's good. I am no, we can we can look at I'd be really keen to look into that because that's that's uh very, very interesting. I've not heard of that one. Um Nick, have you tried any different foods? Because I've got a lot of food lists here that I can go to.

SPEAKER_02 9:18

I will be honest, I struggle to eat. Um, I stopped drinking alcohol seven years ago. Um I think it was no good for me, and I find people with ADHD have I can't think of the word, where they binge things and mine was alcohol at the time. So I will still go out and have a drink, but I rarely drink and I don't drink in the house. My vice is my coffee.

SPEAKER_03 9:53

Well, that's fine, you know, that's that's healthier for you.

SPEAKER_02 9:56

That's definitely food-wise, I don't buy sweets and chocolates, but then when I do, I will eat them all in Mongo. Yeah. And then I find that I'm craving the sugar all the time. But if I stay off the sugar, I don't really crave it. But I try to make myself like high. Like in the morning, I've started having fresh beetroots, raspberries, and bananas. You know, when your bananas go yuck when they've been in the bowl for a few days, um, full flat smells, a bit of cringe juice, and then I make myself a smoothie so it's full of nutrition and high water.

SPEAKER_03 10:44

That sounds lovely. I love beetroot actually. That is such a nice, nice food to have.

SPEAKER_02 10:49

It's very good for you, full of yeah.

SPEAKER_03 10:51

Very good. And if you have it the first time, you will absolutely panic the next day because you'll think that you're dying, because your poo will either be red or your we will be red. And I had someone's tweet, man. I had someone years ago that come to me, and it was quite funny actually. It was a guy, and it was like right at the very end of the of the treatment. He said to me, I need to ask you a question. I said, Go on. He said, My I've got uh I think I've got blood in my urine. And I was like, Well, that's quite serious, that's an A and E job. Um, and then I don't know that he looked quite well, and I said, I don't had this gut feeling. I said, What have you been eating? He went, and he told me he'd eat beetroot. I said, I think you're all right. I don't think I don't think your time's up just yet. Um, so food, right, here's a massive list for everyone. So uh dopamine boost in foods, okay? Uh tyrosine foods, which are things like chicken, turkey, eggs, fish, Greek yogurt. Uh, you want to stabilize uh blood sugars and support the brain. So going back to those other foods, so you've got cottage cheese, tofu, lentils, chickpeas, beans, nuts, and seeds, they're the kind of things that you need to be adding into your life to help boost dopamine. We talked about blood sugars on last week's episode, so that's really uh vital uh for you to understand. So you want slow releasing carbs, lots of fibre, which you need in your menopause anyway, because the transit slows down, so you need to increase your fibre intake. Slow carbs, so we don't want anything that's like too starchy, um, so like sweet potatoes is really great, or oats to slow down the blood sugar uh spikes, and then omega-3, which will support uh all your attention and your memory. Uh, you're looking at sardines, salmon, mackerel, walnuts. What I love about walnuts, and I've been saying this for a very long time, is that if you actually look at a walnut, it looks like a brain. So uh chia seeds, flaxseeds. What's that? Sorry? Very chewy, yeah, but they're lovely. I love I love them. Uh flax seeds, black seeds are brilliant and they're really good for fibre as well. Um, okay, so blood sugar roller coasters, so you've got oats, uh, quinoa, brown rice, whole grain bread, sweet potatoes, we mentioned beans and lentils, um, and also glucose steady, you want to keep as well. So all those sweetie stuff. We talked again the blood sugars about making sure you pairing your foods properly together. So if you do have sweet stuff, make sure you pair it with something like protein to stop your sugars uh from spiking. Uh, you can include spinach, cow, pumpkin seeds, cashews, uh kidney beans, there you go. Said about kidney beans earlier, dark chocolate, 70% plus. And also we've got to help um with the brain. We've got blueberries, raspberries, uh, leafy greens, green tea, and last but not least, it's a lot, isn't it? Fat, slow digestion down and stabilize energies. So avocado, olive oil, nut seeds, tahini, and some nut butters. So there's quite a lot of stuff that you can do. So you've got to think about how you can balance your sugar levels to stop that emotional roller coaster, how you can help your brain function better. So diet is key for anything, really, but there's a lot of there's a lot of food. So was there anything on there that you two thought, ooh, didn't know about that one, or is it quite no, I'm my breakfast is like wheat of six.

SPEAKER_00 15:03

Um yogurt, peanut butter, fruit, different fruits. Um, and and then um flax seeds I put in actually. Um and then that lasts me hours to be honest. That's lovely. Yeah, I can't eat I don't like eating first thing in the morning. Excuse me, so I'll take it into work and I'll eat it like throughout the morning.

SPEAKER_03 15:30

Bless you. In China they say miss you. That's what my tutor told me years ago. Miss you. Anything at all on there if you can remember? That I like. No, that you think, oh that's that's a new one. I've not heard of that.

SPEAKER_02 15:54

Um no, I think compared to most of those.

SPEAKER_03 15:57

Yeah, it's a good selection, I think, on there really. Um supplementation, you you ladies taking anything? Um no. Okay, that's I have tried that's nicky dice.

SPEAKER_02 16:15

I don't even know whether I'm allowed to say it.

SPEAKER_03 16:18

If but it's legal, the CBD oil. Oh, you said about that before. Now, what are you taking that for though?

SPEAKER_02 16:25

Um, so I take it, which I haven't had for a while, when I'm overwhelmed and I've been agitated, and I used to have just like a dropper of it, and it would calm me right down. But I've not needed it because I've been so good.

SPEAKER_03 16:43

Well, that's brilliant. But at least you know that you've got that as a a backup.

SPEAKER_00 16:49

Yeah. Uh Julia? Um, I take vitamin D. Um I I take quite a high strength because my vitamin D is just is I got quite low levels of that. Um and I take magnesium at night. Um what else was I taking? And then I usually take like a multi vitamin and mineral as well.

SPEAKER_03 17:16

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 17:16

So this is actually I just remembered. Yeah. So I got vitamin D and B12, but you know, for the injections. Yeah. And I get those, and then me and my friend um do each other. Because you can also get them, you can also get like um um you can go and pay for them, but I won't pay for them. I'll buy the stuff and then me and my friend do it because we're both trained.

SPEAKER_03 17:47

Yeah, I remember you saying that before. So you you always gonna be really rude though, but I'm not gonna say prick each other. Well, mix a change, it's usually me. Prick it, you prick each other. Oh stab each other, really. Stab each other, stab each other is better. Oh no, I don't even know. I might have to cut that out. Um, injects. Injects, you can't say injects either. There's so many things we can't say now. Um yeah supply. Supply, even supply, Julia. Sounds so infuse, infuses better. Yeah, you infuse one another. You know, I found lots of supplementation, some of them I can't even pronounce. Right, ging gingo billaba.

SPEAKER_00 18:35

Gingo Billa or whatever.

SPEAKER_03 18:36

I've got enough of gingo. Have you heard of that? Ging gingo billaba.

SPEAKER_00 18:43

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_03 18:44

Attention working, memory, mental clarity, apparently improves focus, uh, reduces your brain fog, and helps with uh menopause cognitive. Ginseng, I think we've all heard of that. Yeah, um, again, same things but helps reduce fatigue. Now I love this one. I've been on this a long time. Ashwagandha.

SPEAKER_00 19:07

I knew you were gonna say that.

SPEAKER_03 19:08

Did you really? Did you think she's gonna say the Ashwagonda train? Um I I think Ashwagandha's incredible, it's worked well for me. When do you take it?

SPEAKER_02 19:21

Because I bought about 10 supplements and they are still in the drawer.

SPEAKER_03 19:27

I think with one. Well, when I recommend supplementations to my patients, because I've done a lot of training in that uh previously. I first of all, with anything like that, I say you take one at a time and make sure that you know that that's not interacting with your stomach or anything else. So don't go into your drawer, Nikki, tomorrow, and take all of your tablets out. So just focus on it.

SPEAKER_02 19:59

But I'll be honest, I think once you've had a hysterectomy, the things that they say to use for menopause don't work because they haven't bossed. I haven't got any bits.

SPEAKER_03 20:10

No, they don't. I mean, ash so I take two different tablets for mood and to calm me down, and one of them's ashwagandha, and I take that lunchtime because for me, I'm fine in the morning, it's the afternoon that I kind of can get a little bit, yeah, which most women do by three o'clock because of your cortisol levels, they start dipping by three. So ashwagander works really well with your sympathetic, parasympathetic, it brings you right down, chills you out. So I have that, and before I go to bed, uh I have um 5 HTP, which is it's amazing. Do you know what? I read a book a few years back about regulating your moods, and it was the first uh thing that I read on there, and I was like, I've not heard of that. And I researched it and I started taking it, and I checked that I'm on Levi thoroxine, so I wanted to make sure it didn't interact with that. Um, and I love it. In fact, what is it? So it helps with your serotonin levels, uh, it helps regulate the neurotransmitters. So ideally, there's a few ways that you take this, and you have to muck around with it for what you want. So, first of all, I tried it in the morning. I tried it about 10 o'clock, and then I fell asleep literally by one. I was like, I need to lie down and go to sleep now, and I did, and I slept. So I thought, right, well, that's no good. So then I take it with my evening meal. So what happens if I I have it with my meal, which is maybe half seven, eight. By the time I go to bed, roughly 10 o'clock, I go straight off to sleep. And then if I can get it from you can get it from anywhere. It's not specialized. You can get it from Amazon anywhere. 5HP. Plus. Yeah, there's different 5-HTP and the word plus. And then you can take it. If you wake up in the night, you can take it again. So it can send you back off to sleep. So if you're someone that really has bad insomnia, you can take it. But what it does for me is that I wake up feeling pretty chilled. Um and yeah. So I'm definitely going to take one tonight because I'm quite wired after these podcasts for a few hours. Send me the link, please. Yes, I will send you a link. And I'll send you the one that I take. It's not an expensive one. So that's really good. But ashwagonda doesn't work well for everyone because sometimes you get ashwagandha and it comes with magnesium. And Julie, what you say about magnesium is, you know, it's such a great thing, but what a lot of people don't understand is that it can tamper with your digestive system. So if you're someone that has a runny you know, runny poo, uh, you have to be very mindful of your magnesium intake. Um, and some Ashwagonda supplementations also have magnesium in there as well. So um just be mindful of that. You don't want to have diarrhoea.

SPEAKER_00 23:32

Put it yeah, put it like this. I I use half the dose that was recommended.

SPEAKER_03 23:37

There you go. There you go. Um turmeric, inflammation mood support. We all know turmeric works well, and turmeric is actually in the recipe I've made. I love turmeric. Um if I could I would actually, you know what I tell some people sometimes to actually rub it on yourself.

SPEAKER_02 23:56

If you've got inform I'd so I saw something on a video where people put turmeric all over themselves. Well, I wouldn't put it on my face. They had it all over the face, but I can't remember what it was for.

SPEAKER_03 24:11

No, I tell people to mix it with some um oil of their choice, whether it's olive or coconut, and if you've got knee pain, massage it into the knee. Does it not stain? Well, yeah, I mean if you're going if you're going on the beach, don't don't use it because you look like you've been kneeling in something nasty. But it's it goes straight into the system quicker. And you can take I mean, I like the herbs, I just put her all of it in my food, but you can take supplementations now. There is actually a sup of turmeric, so you can do that. Um oh here we go, right. How can I pronounce this? Oh, Rod Diala Rosia. Anyone heard of that? No. Most probably because I've not pronounced it correctly, so it's R H O D I O L A Rosia.

SPEAKER_02 25:04

R delusia, readalo I have heard of that.

SPEAKER_03 25:08

Have you heard of it? Sorry. So you it's my pronunciation. So this helps uh mental fatigue and it's also known to enhance mood and cognitive function. Good tips there on food and sup. Anything you're gonna try, Nick? Key?

SPEAKER_02 25:27

I might look into rubbing a bit of turb turmeric turmeric on me.

SPEAKER_03 25:32

Yes, turn turmeric turmeric. Turmeric turmeric. Yeah, there's loads of I think there's you could get creative, haven't you? So let's talk about Angeline. You know what? I'm happy to try. I think is a great opportunity now for you to tell everyone about your ice baths. I think go for because I know you love talking about it, and it and if anyone's not done this, you've got to listen to Nikki because she's it well, I'll shut up. Nikki, tell everyone.

SPEAKER_02 26:07

Um, so I have a really bad year, and I learned that I need to do things for me. So I had done a ice bath with a sauna last March, and then I was in a stream in November, but I found that so they call me Nikki Hof, my friend does, because I love all the Wim Hof stuff, and it's for you to be able to switch off, concentrate, and get yourself into the ice or into cold water without overthinking, without thinking of anything else. It's all about breathing, calming your mind, and it oh my god, I can't explain how it makes you feel. I've done 11 minutes in Crosby Sunday. I go every Sunday, I went the first Sunday after New Year, and it's changed my life, and it has also changed my outlook on doing things that you wouldn't think were possible because it's all about the mindset and put like turning that off, which is hard for someone like me because it's constantly going. But to just turn your brain off and breathe and do something, the way it makes you feel after you've been in the water, it releases loads of endorphins, it makes you feel good, it gives your body a buzz, it also helps with your pain. Um I can't explain it. You just feel absolutely amazing after it. And I've got a few friends doing it now.

SPEAKER_03 27:55

Nikki, can I just ask, why did you start who how did you find out about that?

SPEAKER_02 28:02

Um, I was watching a documentary with Wim Hoff, the Ice Challenge ones. Then I was also watching one of the army fellow ones, I can't think of the name. Um, and he would be given something to do, whether it was going into the water, going through all these tunnels, and he couldn't do it, and then he would come back and he would speak to this like psychologist type person who would talk him through it, change his way of thinking, and instead of thinking, oh my god, I'm gonna drown, oh my gosh, it's so cold, he would like speak to him in a positive way, and then he'd smash it. So I think that's where the ice dip came in, and I wanted something that was beneficial for my brain, for my mood, for my body, just for me.

SPEAKER_03 29:00

I don't know about you, Julia, but I'm I'm listening to Nikki and I'm feeling really relaxed. No, but I I do the way that you're you're explaining it, it's it's it sounds you're what's coming off of you, the vibe, it just sounds amazing and sounds like something that everyone should try to do.

SPEAKER_00 29:22

And it's obviously like really benefited, you know.

SPEAKER_03 29:25

Yeah, it's incredible.

SPEAKER_02 29:27

If you'd seen me a couple of months ago and the way I am now, honestly, it's changed my life.

SPEAKER_03 29:36

It's amazing. For you to say something like that, that's huge.

SPEAKER_02 29:41

Yeah, that's huge. Yeah, it is, it's life-changing. Like the women that are there on a Sunday morning is mixed from young to old, like there's that many people that do it, and you you can do it. I mean, if I've been doing it since January, I think when I was doing it January, it was just below freezing and it was 4.2. We had 7.8 on Sunday. Yes, it was still bloody cold, but it wasn't as cold as what I'm used to. But your body is memory, so the more you do it, the more your body remembers, and it doesn't sort of get that shock. Like, I might go in and go, oh, but I do it in my head, and then you sort of just get into it, and you just reap the benefits of it. I mean, 11 minutes I did on Sunday, and the ice baths.

SPEAKER_00 30:35

That's incredible.

SPEAKER_02 30:36

Yeah, I do four, three minute ice dips, and you get out and your your body's red raw, but what I think is all that blood is all rushing back into every nook and cranny and to the ends of your fingers. Well, when you've got like um osteoarthritis and stuff, you get like pain and stuff in your fingers and your feet. So when you it just makes you heart pump faster and the blood goes into, as I said, like all the nooks and crannies and regenerates. I don't know whether it does regenerate, but that's just like a word.

SPEAKER_03 31:16

No, but that's how it feels, right? Yeah. And that's that's a good word to use. That's how it feels when it goes round. Yeah, no, it's great. That's brilliant. Uh definitely we've talked about ice baths before on the final myolder, and uh I think it's incredible that you've got something like that. Julia, have you got something like that?

SPEAKER_00 31:39

Um when when I'm able, I go to the local idol, which I really enjoy. Um, but my pain has been quite bad recently, so I haven't been able to go. Um but the thing I get uh so much pleasure from is art and um doing painting, collage work, doodling. Um so I've been doodling while you've been talking.

SPEAKER_03 32:12

So wow. So Julia Hold it up, hold it up. That's amazing. That's amazing. I don't know how you can do that and listen, see. I'd I if that was me, I'd be really in it. I wouldn't be able to listen at the same time.

SPEAKER_00 32:33

Yeah, but it helps me so uh you know, if what I find hard is is doing is I I love c I love talking and I love having conversations, but I find that um I used to knit, um which um I think I'll probably go back to knitting as well, is just having something for my hands to do and keep occupied. But I also help like I've written loads of notes tonight as well. So um I find that when I'm listening is that if I'm doing this as well, it helps me absorb it better. So it's been I mean it's been really useful for me. Um I think when I was younger, um I had a lot more difficulty expressing myself, and I couldn't always express myself the way I wanted to. So I I knew what I wanted to say, but I could never find the right words, and that went on for years and years. Um and when I was very young, then my sister would literally have to interpret what I was saying to for my mother to understand what I was saying. It was it was a bit like that. So um uh and I think when I've gone through you know very tricky times, and I don't always have the words to maybe write it down or actually say to someone, this is how I feel, um, then I can put on a meditation um and just get some paints out, and I just do whatever. And you know, sometimes I I just leave it and then I might look at it a few days later, and it can be a bit like, oh wow, I you know, I wasn't expecting that, or I didn't think that was gonna happen on that day at that time. But it's it's incredibly it's an incredibly useful tool then for expression when you don't always have the words.

SPEAKER_03 34:36

That is so good. I love that. I love that. Um so there are some other things on there that um what we've mentioned, exercise, meditation. If you're I mean, next week we've got a lady coming that does meditation, so please do come back for that because we're gonna be talking about why you meditate, why it's good for you. Ladies, I know you do a bit of meditation. Who I think you both do it, don't you? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:07

I think indeed too because my life is so constant all the time. Sometimes you have to take yourself away just to re-evaluate and just have some calmness. Sometimes it doesn't work because I can't switch off, but when it does, it's good. And do you use an app? I use an app, I don't like the guided meditation because I find that the person's voice gets on my nerves.

SPEAKER_03 35:39

I hear that a lot from people actually. I do hear that.

SPEAKER_02 35:43

Yeah, like I just like the angel. Yeah, I like the angely music and all the like oh that kind of thing.

SPEAKER_03 35:57

Oh god. What about you, Junior? Do you have the whole as well?

SPEAKER_00 36:03

Yeah, I yeah, I can go through I like um sky. I like things like um the Buddhist month monks chanting and um I go on Spotify um and I go for five-minute meditations, you know, up to like half-hour ones, depending on what I want it for, really. So I try and suit the meditation to whatever mood I'm feeling type of thing.

SPEAKER_03 36:35

Nice, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:36

I mean, and and then either I fall asleep, yeah. Um sometimes I find which is fine because I usually nap uh most afternoons. Um so I'll I'll either use it for that purpose, or you can get ones to like give you a bit of a boost, that kind of thing, or just literally to um switch off. And so I'll I'll choose which one I want, and then I might do artwork, or I just might rest or I might sleep. So just sort of try it for myself, really.

SPEAKER_03 37:11

I must admit, I've got a meditation that I've been doing for years, and I got it from some uh counselor that I used to go to. Oh, right, okay. Oh, it's amazing. It's there's two. There's one that's 30 minutes and there's one that's 15. Right. And they're I love them. I can do those all the time. And I actually like to meditate without anything as well. I'm quite happy to I could sit here quite easily and just shut my eyes now and meditate and block you out.

SPEAKER_01 37:42

Yeah, crack on.

SPEAKER_03 37:45

I could do that, I could do that. Um, we've lost Nikki, but I'm sure I should be back. Most probably something going on. So other things uh screen time. Oh, this is a big one. Making sure that you know you don't be silly and look at your phone just before you go to bed because that is just gonna why you I know it's easily done.

SPEAKER_00 38:10

I do it, I do it very often, but I don't so I've I've got like a series of um like um word games and things that I do before I go to sleep and I find that helps me. Um so I do yeah, I do I do about three or four of those before I go to sleep, and then by the end of the last one I'm like Yeah, but that if that's that's helping you by sounds of it go to sleep. Yeah, because I have to focus on making as many words as I can or whatever. Yeah. So I think that sort of like burst of like hyper focus helps me because it's like right, come on, you know, last surge of energy now before you go to sleep, and it's like uh brain matter working. Um, and then it's like oh yeah, I've had enough now and off I go.

SPEAKER_03 39:09

It's funny, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00 39:10

Yeah, yeah, we're funny creatures.

SPEAKER_03 39:13

We are funny buggers. Uh CBT, love CBT. Um I I've been doing it for years, but and I always talk about the decider course every time we get to talk about CBT. Um, it's incredible. I did CBT with them a couple of years ago. Um and I found it was the best CBT that I've done in my whole life. And I've done a lot of it because it's visual, they show you videos. Yeah, yeah. We won't say no more. I'm not saying the thing. No, but I love it. They've the energy, it's actually made for kids. You can say that it's made for kids, but you can under you can understand it more, and there's so many things I learnt from it that I still do now. Whereas old CBT before that, I think I would learn it and not actually follow it through.

SPEAKER_00 40:10

Um don't you think it's fine than something that is is relevant and works for you? Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 40:16

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 40:17

Does it matter that it's aimed at children? No.

SPEAKER_03 40:19

No, no, no. I don't I I completely agree because it's like a light bulb moment going on when you s when you click with something and then you can you then you start putting it in. So CBT is definitely a good thing for anyone that has got ADHD, or even if you're just struggling in general, you don't have to have ADHD to do CBT. You can use it for anything.

SPEAKER_00 40:43

Not at all. I think I think anything that provides sort of mindfulness, uh an opportunity for mindfulness, or uh uh to focus your uh sorry, directly focus elsewhere.

SPEAKER_03 41:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:02

Whether it's for ten minutes or half an hour, um as a practice that you do, whether it's CBT, whether it's meditation, whether it's artwork, whether it's craft, whether it's cold water dipping, going into nature, taking photos, whatever it might be, I think walking the dog. And I think as long as you you're um present, that's the main thing. I see so many people taking their dogs for a walk and they're on their phones. Oh yeah, that pisses me off because it's like don't you know you know, and I go on my phone when I walk my dog, but it's just I I do it as more of a taking a photo of where I am or where what I've seen or whatever. But it's because if you're constantly on your phone or constantly distracting yourself from what you're actually meant to be doing, then your mind is always looking for the for the next thing, for the next thing. Whereas if you try and ground yourself in what you're doing, whatever it is, whether it's washing dishes, weed in the garden, whatever, it doesn't have to be anything fancy. Then I think you create these moments of calm.

SPEAKER_03 42:16

Yeah. When me and Paula did the exercise uh podcast a few weeks back, we were both talking about um, you know, obviously the benefits of exercise, but one of the things I started talking about was the meditation and the calming side of walking. And so when I go out walking, whether it's with my dog or whether it's with you know on my own, I've never got any music on, I've never got my phone on. And like you said, Julia, unless I'm gonna take a picture of her like digging something up, which is quite fun. Um, I like listening to the sound of my feet when I'm walking on the surface that I'm walking on. I like you know, listening to everything. I never used to do that, it was only because of this CBT course that I did that I started to recognise that that would be really good for me. Um, and I love it. And I just think how what are you missing out if you're if you're in the forest and you're on a phone, you're missing out on all this nature around you that can really ground you.

SPEAKER_00 43:25

Yeah, and that's the thing, is that um I have I I did put an app on my phone. So when I go for a walk, it depends where I was walking my dog. This is going back a few years ago, and I discovered an app on your phone that you can um recognise what birds are around you.

SPEAKER_01 43:44

Oh.

SPEAKER_00 43:45

And I I would I thought I was getting quite good at it, and then there'd be a s a you know, a a bird song or whatever, and I think, oh I I've got a clue what that is, whatever. And I put my bird app on and it records it.

SPEAKER_02 43:57

Oh, I've got that.

SPEAKER_00 43:58

Yeah, bird next.

SPEAKER_02 44:00

Bird net. Sounds like a dating app, but you go for a walk and at the end of it it will tell you all the birds that you've had.

SPEAKER_00 44:11

So I I love it because um depend like I say, depending where it was. So I know like um in the back of my house there's a woodpecker, um, and in the evening, probably about now ish, like the owls will come out and start um hooting and stuff, but I I just love it. I just love that it it's almost like a sounds of comfort then for me. Um and I think if you can't if you've like you say if you've constantly got headphones on or music blaring or whatever, you're missing out on all these really small moments um that are just so lovely in your day.

SPEAKER_03 44:53

Yeah. It's a shame, isn't it? People do that. But that's good. I'm gonna look at that. I'm gonna look at that app. Um, ladies, we're coming to the end now, but there are two questions that I'd like to ask you. So, first of all, actually no, I'll ask you one each. So, uh Nikki, advice to anyone that's listening, if they think they have ADHD, what would you suggest?

SPEAKER_02 45:21

I would just say research, researcher. Um, because I found so much about myself that I didn't know. And it's only when you're either talking to friends, like close friends, or like, say, for example, the podcast people will be like, Oh, I do that, and it just gives you a better understanding of you and yourself because you self-doubt yourself all of the time and think that the way you behave is not right, and you just put yourself down, and it's not, we're just different, and we're wired different, and I think looking into it, you sort of have a I'm at an inner peace with myself now.

SPEAKER_03 46:18

Well, that's really good. That's good. But is um okay, so back at you, and Julia, please jump in on this one. Is a diagnosis important? No.

SPEAKER_00 46:34

I think it depends on the person. For me, it was important because it was important for me to understand my behaviour and past events I needed it's that search for the whys and the what's and the hows. Yeah, and I think having that diagnosis um helped me process that. Um I I um had quite a long sort of period of psychotherapy. Um like from 2022 for a little while, and it was that process of um picking events, past behaviors, and all this kind of thing, and then like Nikki said, being at peace for that and saying, right, okay, I I understand now, whereas before I don't think I understood. Okay. And it was like so for some people, um, I think it's very, very important that if it's very important to them, then they get it. If they if they're suspicious of it, I think, mm, I think I may have this, but they're at peace with it, fine. So it's a very individual uh decision, and this thing of oh, everyone's got ADHD now, everyone's gonna diagnose this. I mean, I grew up in the 80s, you know. There was there was n there was no one, no one had any sort of neurodiverse behaviour, but then no one was being diagnosed either. And I think there's been um millions of people that have gone on under the radar for so long, and I think it's it's this understanding of self is so important. For me it was. For me it was, it was vitally important, and and I'm not saying that I've got all the answers now, but I've got far more than I did before.

SPEAKER_03 48:41

Okay, that thank you, Julia. Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 48:43

And Nikki, you think it's I don't know mixed because I got my diagnosis to protect my to protect me in work because I was worried that I was going to get into trouble for the way I am when really I mean it's class as a disability, but it wasn't to get that like disability stasis. I think it was to protect me from the way I am by getting myself into trouble by saying too much or just being naughty, naughty nikki. Naughty Nicky Naughty Nicky Hof. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 49:29

Well, naughty Nicky Hoff and uh Julia. Uh I've got one more question to ask you. Um okay, both jump in on this. Advice to partners on how to cope with their loved one, whether they're living with them, whether they know someone or a friend. Be patient, be patient. Yeah, be patient.

SPEAKER_00 49:53

Be patient and and be and and be gentle.

SPEAKER_02 49:57

Yeah, because we have that many different emotions, and it's all I mean I've sort of learned to how to live with it now and how to change, but I think for other people, you just need patience and to listen because I struggle to listen myself.

SPEAKER_00 50:22

The other thing is as well, I think it's that thing of um oh god, I forgot. Um patience. Patience is huge. And also not to criticize.

SPEAKER_02 50:41

Yeah, because criticism really puts you on a spiral.

SPEAKER_00 50:46

Uh because uh once you've got a lot of criticism, even gently directed at you, then there's a strong possibility you're just gonna shut down. Yeah, I do that. So, and there's no one that's gonna be a big bigger critic than yourself when you've got when you've got it, unfortunately. You are your biggest critic. So to have someone else say stuff on top of that, so it's be gentle, be kind, be patient, and just listen.

SPEAKER_03 51:20

Yeah, I think that's a brilliant way to end part two. Ladies, thank you so much. Have you had fun? Welcome, yes. It's been so good to have you both back again. It's like the little dream team. Um, so I want to thank Nikki. Oh, and Julia. You're welcome. Thank you. Thank you so much for being here. I really hope everyone at home has learned something today. You know, even if you haven't got ADHD and you know someone that has, maybe it's a way of you understanding them a bit more. If you'd like to be on this podcast, Nikki, you're up. What do people need to do?

SPEAKER_02 52:10

So to get in touch via any of the platforms that you're listening to or you're watching, or you can email at menopausedinners at gmail.com.

SPEAKER_03 52:27

Perfect. Couldn't have done it better myself. Thank you so much, Nikki. We're coming up to the end of uh season two. We've got one more episode, one topic I should say, coming next week, and that is meditation. Do come back from that. I think that's a really nice way to end season two, actually. A nice little meditation session, get everyone chilled and zoned out, and yeah, so come back for that. It'll be fabulous. Okay, so don't forget to like, rate, or subscribe to any of the platforms you're listening on. Did you know you can now send us a text via the podcast? How incredible is that! And also a voicemail. So why not let us know how we're doing? Even on the socials, just get in touch. There's also now a monetisation button as we are non-profit, so every little bit helps. So before you go, my final thought with you is that menopause does suck. And so does the ADH2. But with friends, it can suck a whole lot less. We will see you next time on Metapalls Dinners. Any supplementation or medications we've discussed is from our own experiences. If you do have a medical condition, please seek professional advice before trying anything that's been mentioned today.